get on the bus.

fOrGeT mE nOt. so this morning after my 6.45am yoga class i ran a few errands and then decided i felt like being lazy and taking the bus to get back to the l train to get back to brooklyn. i have a new found love affair with the m14a bus. especially because when i sit in those fun seats that rotate when it makes turns (where the two halves of the bus connect) my feet don't even hit the ground. and the buses in manhattan offer people watching on a whole new level. it's an experience. and i'm becoming addicted quite frankly. anyway, we were going up avenue a and i had one of those moments of needing to know exactly where i was, so i abruptly turned to check the passing street sign, and noticed that this particular corner has been dubbed "father mancini corner". i don't know who that is and i really don't care, either. it's just that my mind went "mancini...who was that kid from elementary school with the name like that?...he had the weirdest first name...what the hell was it?...man..man......man...manfred! manfred. not mancini. rancini? manfred rancini?.............."
and then i got aggravated because i really cannot remember his last name. i can tell you exactly what he looks like, but i cannot remember his name. and this is not the first time this has happened to me. i am starting to lose pieces of information from my youth, which is growing increasingly distant. they may be insignificant pieces of information, it may be surprising to some that i had even retained them past graduating from high school, but, still, i feel like it's all downhill from here. i'm just going to start forgetting more and more. and then eventually it will be a crapshoot if i will remember what we just talked about when you ask me about it tomorrow. it's just a waiting game now for the dimensia to kick in and then all those little pieces of information, like manfred's name, will come rushing back. say what you will, i gotta confess i'm kind of looking forward to that. i mean, yes, it will suck to not have any idea where i am or who i am talking to, doing things like trying to eat cigarettes out of ashtrays, but it will be nice to be able to remember exactly who was in my third grade language arts class. and what we all wore on picture day. and when lindsay bates and allison dixon had the grade dividing fight, who fell into which camp because, at the moment, i am having trouble remembering which side liz adler ended up on.

an apple a day...

kEePs tHe DoCtOr aWaY. so, coincidentally, does not having health insurance.

every now and then i fall apart.

dAnCe TiLL dAwN.

i guess in some way i asked for it.

kArMa. well, in an ironic twist (see next post down), i spent nearly an hour (nonstop) this morning playing the combined role of delta pilot and flight attendant with a 6 year old boy i was babysitting in a game he invented, which more or less consisted of him picking a destination, me greeting the passengers aboard the delta flight and giving the pre-takeoff greeting, him running across the playroom for takeoff, me giving the mid-flight greeting, him running back across the room, me giving the final descent speech, him running back across the room, and me giving the welcome to your destination farewell. it went a little something like this:

"ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard delta flight # 1435 with nonstop service to singapore. at this time we ask that you please securely stow all carry-on and personal items below the seat in front of you or in an overhead compartment. as the captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign, we ask that you please take your seat and fasten your seatbealt in anticipation of takeoff. please take a moment to turn off all cell phones, computers and other electronic devices. emergency exits are located at the front and rear of the cabin, as well as over each wing at emergency exit rows 11 & 12. in the event of an emergency you may use your seat cushion as a flotation device. thank you for choosing delta, we hope that you enjoy your flight."

milutin runs across the room and makes three noises, signalling takeoff.

"ladies and gentlemen, we have reached our cruising altitude of 32,000 feet and the captain has turned off the fasten seat belt sign, so please feel free to move about the cabin. our anticipated arrival time into singapore is 3:47pm. current temperature is 63 degrees with partly cloudy skies. thank you for flying delta, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

milutin runs across the room.

"ladies and gentlemen, we are making our final approach into singapore and ask that at this time you return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts, as the captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign. please turn off any cell phones, computers or other electronice devices and return all personal belonging to the overhead compartments or stow securely underneath the seat in front of you. thank you for flying delta."

milutin runs across the room making some sort of landing noise.

"ladies and gentlemen, as we approach the gate we ask that you keep your seatbelt fastened until the captain has turned off the fasten seatbelt sign. please remember to take all your belongings with you when you exit the aircraft. the current time in singapore is 3:46pm, current temperature is 68 degrees with partly cloudy skies. we will be arriving at gate 21y and we hope that you enjoy your time in singapore. thank you for flying delta, we look forward to serving you again soon."


repeat with new destination, flight # and arrival gate.
repeat.
repeat.
repeat...
for an hour.

making headlines.

pIcKeT pRaCtiCe. "delta pilots prepare for possible strike" this was one of yahoo's top headlines on friday, april 7th. now, i am not saying that the possibility of delta's pilots going out on strike is not newsworthy. i am, however, saying that this headline is ridiculous. who cares about the pilots preparing? and, really, the images that headline conjures up - can't you just picture all of the delta pilots assembled somewhere "preparing"? dissention among the ranks as to whether they should picket in an oval formation...should they walk clockwise? counter-clockwise? get fancy and alternate between the two?? each pilot having to get up and recite the deisgnated chants, demonstrate their marching and sign holding skills. some pilots not making the cut and being asked to stay away from the picket lines, for the sake of the cause. "sorry, henderson, i just didn't believe you up there, i didn't feel it." "jones, your heart's in the right place, but you were always a step behind, what can i say? some people just don't have rhythm, it's not your fault." heated debates over slogans and sign letterage...the grass roots folks thinking they will elicit more sympathy from what will likely be a pissed off public with handwritten signs, the serious strikers insisting on printed signs that portray their messages loud and clear and in a uniform font. around the clock madness in a rush to prepare for the possible strike. will they be ready??? these, folks, these are the important questions.

model behavior.

pIcTuRe ThIs. i have two friends who just finished their thesis shows at pratt and who will earn masters of fine arts in photography from pratt in may. of the two, it is colleen's show i will write about for the selfish reason that i am in it. which is kind of a joke. and kind of not. i have known, i guess in some way at least since we did the two photo shoots last fall, that i would likely turn up in a print that made it into her thesis. but it wasn't something i necessarily gave any thought to. i think because i was busy and distracted and we did the shoots and it was a long time before i saw any contact sheets and even longer before i actually saw a couple of prints, it became very much a matter of out of sight, out of mind. it was colleen's thing. as her friend, i was where she needed me to be, when she needed me to be there, wearing what she told me to put on, standing or sitting where she told me to...and, of course, having fun, hanging out in a studio at pratt with friends, listening to good music, having the signature ketel one and tonic with extra lime that will forever be linked to my favorite girls from arcata, california, while colleen directed us in and out of clothing options and around the space. i had absolutely no outside point of reference by which to judge the photos themselves. they were not posed or contrived in a manner in which the subjects knew what the frame of the shot was (and, could, consequently, worry about how they looked within that frame - should i tilt my shouler? my chin? smile less? more?...) and, furthermore, a large portion of each shoot was done with a technique of painting light, which more or less happens in total darkness, and makes it near impossible to tell much of anything that is going on. and, so, walking onto pratt's campus and seeing colleen's prints, her spectacularly beautiful prints, hanging on the wall, was really my first taste of what had come from those two sunday evenings spent with colleen in that studio last fall. it surprised me. and caught me off guard. as an actress, as a writer, i am so accustomed to having control of how i present myself, and for feeling such responsibility for how i will come across. it is the absolute opposite with this experience of serving as model for colleen. yes, it is me in those photos. but not a me i created, not a me i chose to share with the public, not a me i controlled. it is me, in that moment, in that studio, as colleen saw me and as she and her camera and their manipulation of light and space translated me into this larger pursuit of colleen's - "tenacious nostalgia." it is remarkable for me, a true learning experience, to be on this side of things. to fill theses shoes. to be molded into someone else's artistic vision. it feels entirely brand new, utterly exposed, and, yet, somehow, safe. and it is an honor. colleen's prints are gorgeous. the body of work she has assembled, photographing women in her life she loves, is full of haunting and longing beauty with moments that are both mysterious and universal, mundane and ethereal. colleen's solo show has closed, but she still has two photos included in the show "bearings: the female figure" at p.s. 122's gallery through april 23rd. check them out.